Bullying **Trigger Warning**
Posted by Mandy
I refer to ‘bullying’ as the general, so any type of bullying(cyber bullying, emotional, physical ect.) is included in the term because at the end of the day bullying boils down to two ‘institutions’: school and home (in the work place I consider it less bullying and more harassment, but that’s my personal semantics sorry if anyone feels left out or dismissed that’s not my intention).
I’ll start with school first because it’s always my favorite thing to “out” so to speak (I’m still sad I didn’t know they had demolished my primary school, I wanted to dance on it’s grave but there’s already flats on it). I’m going to do something that I generally don’t like to do and grossly over genrealise for a second, most socially related mental illnesses(social anxiety, paranoia, fear of people ect.) develop as a direct result of schooling or home and I’d say that school is the single most damaging intuition of any persons life, ever. Yeah we had asylums and prisons where people where experimented on ect. but now days we’re against that kind of thing (in theory) but schools still are still everywhere! And still shattering people into thousands of pieces every year. Yes, yes I know that we need to be educated and even though my primary school fucked up my life (and me in general) I know that I’d be nowhere without my education and I’m thankful for that, however it’s broken. Stop and think for a second, how many things where you scared of because of school? Do you remember a kid that was always picked on? Did you do something that you’re really not proud of? How does this make you feel? Damaged, point made. I’d go into details of how my schooling fucked me up, but I can’t cause it’s all repressed but I do remember enough fragments from those days to know the main problems with all this optimistic stop bullying crap that people are spouting.
Don’t get me wrong, I want to stop bullying it’s life crushing, what I object to is the way that people are going about it. The main problems with school related bullying (again both cyber and in the playground) is that parents of the bully either don’t want to admit/accept that their child is a bully and/or they’ll make up a million and one excuses for their child. Now because the school wants to keep in business (oh geeze business approach to schools and problems? who’d have thought!) if they meet too much resistance from a parent they will cave in, this highlights a new problem the school’s attitude. In a public school a lot of the teachers don’t really care about bullying (this I do remember, I had this experience a couple of years a go) or they over look it and privet schools? Well they do the worse thing (in my opinion), they will actually hush up the bullying incidents to protect their reputation (again experienced this recently, in 2009 in fact). Schools have to start admitting that bullying is happening, they have to stop caving in when powerful parents are behind the bullying child and they need to start thinking with a humanitarian brain rather then a business one!
This next element to school bullying is one of my favorites to talk about face-to-face with people because so many people are in the dark regarding this. Teachers bully too! That’s right my optimistic friends (how the hell did you end up here?) teachers will bully as well as other kids. I’ve fallen victim to this a few , the first time not a whole lot was done because (true story!) the principal blackmailed my parents (so I’m told), the second time this happened I didn’t bother telling anyone and just put up with this teacher belittling me, third time I walked out of class and didn’t go back (which wasn’t good for my exam result) and the forth time I actually spoke to another teacher who was higher up then the offending teacher and it actually got fixed! (This is a GREAT step in the right direction, it was also this year.) I remember one of the nicest things someone said to me was that they felt sorry for me because of the way that the teacher was treating me and the person who said it wasn’t really a friend either. The third time it happened I actually told someone, thinking that things might be better so many years later, well no they’re not! All the students in this teachers classes where scared of her and so no one would speak up with me, so the teacher lied about what happened and I wasn’t believed…I was having a hard enough time at this point so I said that I wasn’t going to her class again, and I didn’t. Society has said that bullying is unacceptable but it’s not actually walking the talk there is no teeth to what they say, constantly I hear people saying “Should he have been punished that harshly? He comes from a bad home after all.” and things to similar effect. Well guess what people? Yes he does deserve to be punished that harshly! Society runs around telling people that it’s okay to do awful things to others if you come from a bad home, or if you’ve had a hard life or got ADHD or whatever other anti-social personality to want to come up with…and this kind of bull is COUNTER productive! At the end of the day all this kid is learning is that it’s okay to fuck up someone else life if yours is already fucked up. Having a hard life, or an illness is NO excuse to bully others, I know the kid that made my life hell in primary school used the excuse that he had ADHD and the school accepted that. Well because he had ADHD I now have depression, OCD, paranoia, a fear of men and a repressed childhood…what in that is okay? By this :logic” I should then be able to go bully the next random person I meet, what makes me so much better then him and every other person that’s bullied me is that I wont do that.
Tougher rules and laws need to be set up in regards to bullying before it’s going to stop, society needs to accept the ugly truths in bullying and everyone needs to stop rolling over for excuses or because powerful parents threaten the school. I don’t care if your mother is laying in hospital half brain dead, you don’t get to take it out on anyone else and you don’t get to make someone else feel like crap just because you do. I could go on now to talk about bullying/abuse within the family/home but I think I’ll leave that for another post.
About MandyI live with an assortment of illnesses and one illness causes me chronic pain so I live with my dad. I'm lucky that Dad looks after me, even though I'm an adult, which allows me to actually live a life. I love animals. I have two dogs, five adopted guinea pigs, and two small tropical fish tanks. I listen and sing (badly) to mainly rock music. I really enjoy reading and often read an assortment of different genres but I do have a special interest in true crime. I was studying psychology with the intention of specialising in Forensic Psychology and when I'm able to I will return to university.
Posted on 08/06/2013, in mental health, mental illness, Uncategorized and tagged bullying, bullying causing mental illness, how to stop bullying, mental health, mental illness, schools and bullying, why society allows bullying to happen. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.